


Got A Lot Of Friends Six Feet Under Us

by itscursorbby



Category: Deadman Wonderland
Genre: (sort of), Character Study, Minor Character Death, Other characters are mentioned but not by name, lots of death mentioned, lots of headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 05:34:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7421887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itscursorbby/pseuds/itscursorbby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look at the impact of death in the Mockingbird's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Got A Lot Of Friends Six Feet Under Us

Sakigami Toto is ten years old the first time he experiences the permanent loss known as death.

It happens in a flash. One moment, the ceiling breaks open and a length of pipe comes crashing down, and he fully expects it to pierce through him; the next, his sister is above him, red leaking from the corner of her mouth, a relieved smile on her face because he's okay. He doesn't look down, but he knows the pipe is now embedded in his only family's body. She collapses, but he doesn't see, he can't see anything through his tears.

He stays like that until she's cold, and he can't keep pretending that he's not all alone.

The next time, he's barely a teenager. He's been on his own since that day, surviving on wits and the fact that people are more generous if the recipient is an adorable little orphan boy with a tragic story to share. But times are tough, and people in the area are getting stingy. Worse, they're putting more security on whatever necessities they have. He can't remember when the last time he ate was, and he's getting desperate. He remembers hearing about people who, with nothing to eat, would turn to cannibalism. He thought it was disgusting back then, but with each passing day the concept gains a bit more appeal...

He cries again, the first time since his sister's death. He never wanted to resort to this, but the flesh fills his stomach and that's all that matters. If he closes his eyes, maybe he can pretend it's something else.

The third time doesn't wait very long to rear its head. He's been charged with murder and, at the young age of fourteen, sentenced to death. But after some tests, his lawyer pulls some strings and gets him sent to a fancy new prison where instead of having a set execution date, he'll live until he can't survive anymore. Wonderland, they call it. Shortly after his arrival he's moved to the basement of all places, and told he has the power to use his blood as a weapon, as does everyone else in the basement. In G Block. That night he's made to fight a man twice his size, supposedly for research purposes but then why is there an audience? Through some sort of miracle, he wins the fight. Eyes wide, shaking all over, white clothes and almost-white skin dyed red with blood. The audience is cheering for him. No, not him. They're cheering for the Mockingbird.

He almost cries again, but he doesn't. He does throw up once he's out of the arena, though, and he has nightmares for weeks.

He quickly learns that killing is the best way to survive around here. He stops counting the deaths, stops feeling bad about them. Before he knows it, he revels in the bloodshed. Some nights he wonders where his conscience went, but that doesn't matter. He's still alive. That's the important part.

Four years and countless deaths later. He's eighteen now, and he's just killed again. He never even bothered to learn the guy's name, and his face will likely leave his memory before the next morning. There's someone waiting for him when he exits the arena.

"The Director wants to see you."

Sakigami Toto is eighteen, or maybe nineteen. He's not sure at this point. How long has he been here? How long has he been the Director's personal study tool? He calls them experiments, but to the younger, it feels like torture. He lost his will to live long ago. There's no escape from this. He just wants it all to be over. He wants to see his sister again.

Sakigami Toto is twenty, he thinks. He's finally, finally dying, of...everything. That man overworked his body. He's malnourished, bleeding out, and utterly exhausted.

He lets his head fall to the side, eyes--once a bright, warm gold, now cold and lifeless amber--focusing on the body lying a few feet away. She died by his hand, in a sense, but not at all the way he promised her, and he mentally apologizes for breaking his promise.

Which death was she? How many people have died in his life?

He lost count ages ago.

Whichever one she was, she's second-to-last. The count is coming to a stop soon.

Which death is he?

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Twitter here: https://twitter.com/mockingami/status/750510406905524224  
> Title from the song "Massacre" by Ghost Town


End file.
